Update on poor little me!!

Hi all. Doug here. Just updating everyone on the drama saga that is my life of poor health. I had to have another pic line placed yesterday. The nurse looked it up and saw that it is my 13th pic line since 2005. Not a stat I'm proud of, but nonetheless they need to name that unit after me. I have a lot more swelling in the mastoid that was operated on in March. I'm healing well from the surgery last week, but now the new challenge. During all of this, I feel like I am constantly taking two steps forward, and three back. I start feeling guilty and begin apologizing out of my mind to Britt. I might as well be swearing at her, because she despises the out pour of guilt and self blame I continually unleash on her. She tells me that it's not my fault, which I understand, but because it causes a lot of stress and a sense of hopelessness, not to mention a lot of financial strain, the guilt sets in and I feel that I have to make amends some how. She will not allow me to feel guilty, and continues to be the greatest blessing in my life. I seriously would be up poop creek without a paddle or even a row boat without her. So anyway, I'm back in the 104 fever boat (not the same one in poop creek) along with more infection. I have a case manager with my insurance who is a god send. She is researching some out of state specialists and is fighting to have the insurance pay for my trip. She's working with the Mayo clinic in Phoenix to try to get some answers. After four ear surgeries (three this year), 13 pic lines, thousands of dollars spent in Dr's visits, and a desire on days to give up, I am going to that next level with this. I'm 33 years old, but feel like I'm 80. It's time to fix this. I do appreciate everyone's continued concern and support. Last week before the operation, Ken (Britt's dad for those who might not know), gave me a blessing that I will not ever forget. His words gave me goosebumps and made me so proud to be his son in law and in this awesome family. I am also so very lucky to have my two cute girls. They, along with Britt, are what give me the desire to fight. I hope you're all well. Keep me in your prayers.