Can I be done already??????

Hi all my nice family, friends and fans (he he). Doug again here. O.K. here it goes. I had my 5Th 2009 operation last week as most of you know. My doctor said that he took out close to 3 inches of scar tissue throughout my right ear/head/neck area. Plus my incision site was MRSA positive. The biopsy of my ear cartilage revealed a benign cancer like bacteria that will negatively affect the MRSA infections, fevers, and everything else. Poop! Also, he said that I have a mild form of Sepsis, which is the result of all of the infections and operations. Double Poop! A low pulse rate is one of the affectsof Sepsis and while I was in the hospital, my pulse was at 35 beats per minute, when normal is 75-100 per minute. Now I'm taking my pulse regularly and today's average has been around 40-45. So I am riding our stationary bike every day to help the heart rate, and praying and trying really hard to be positive because I feel that attitude with this will play a big part in how all of this crap affects me. Britt has taught me how to look at things practically, because I am overly emotional, whether it's a good emotional or bad emotional, I'm both. I've faltered a bit and have been boo hooing a lot tonight because I'm in a ton of pain, had a lot of ear bleeding and 104 fevers to boot, and hearing (out of my good ear:-) about the sepsis has scared me. My ex mother in law nearly died 6 years ago from sepsis, and I worry about it because damn it I have a beautiful wife, two cute daughters and awesome family and friends that support me, so I want to be rid of this crap. Britt's having a sleep study done tonight so I'm here being a boob because she's not here to cheer me up. I guess I'm admitting my Britt dependency. Hi, I'm Doug, I've been a Brittaholic for over a year now, and I don't for see kicking the habit ever! Oh well!
So speaking of Britt, she is doing well. Since I've had to take the medical retirement, I've decided to devote every waking second to my family because they are what makes me happy. I have been taking Britt lunch every day she works, and I'm not just being biased, she is SO good at what she does. I tell her that she is good enough to be doing big time hair and make up, but she humbly laughs and shakes her head. I am so proud of her and the person she is. She makes me so happy. I am the luckiest man in the world to have a person like her in my corner. That's why I know I can win my fight.
Paige is also doing great. She is doing dance and choir. I'm in the PTA and gladly accepted an assignment to assist with her choir. The teacher in charge, calls me the bouncer. She also calls Paige the best kid in the choir. I agree. Again, no bias involved! I still, four months later, can't believe that she is my girl officially. Now I'm boo hooing again!
Maddie, my little sidekick, is also doing well. She still does gymnastics, and now is joining Paige's dance class. They are learning a routine for their Christmas show (on December 18th at 7 pm at Northridge High, tickets go on sale December 1st, FYI), and in one day Maddie has it down, while the rest of the class is still learning it. The teacher loves her! She is such a special kid. Maddie is such a big part of me. She has always been there for me and I am so lucky that she is my daughter. I can't say enough how much she means to me.
See, now you all see why I'm so emotional. I've got the best family a man can have, but I'm always hurting so bad that sometimes my pain overwhelms me so much that I emotionally let it overtake what is important. One day, I won't let it at all. Because I'm going to do whatever it takes to win this fight. I've got three special teammates pulling me through it.
I love you all, and hope all the happiness in the world is with you as the best time of the year approaches. Take care, and please keep me and my beautiful family in your prayers. You're all in ours:-). Happy Halloween!!